I officially got my rejection email for the last place I applied to for a Child Life internship. I had pretty much figured it out for myself about two days before.
You see, I have friends that will fiddle and fit about waiting for answers when they apply for big, life changing moments, demanding answers and feedback for why they weren’t chosen for what they wanted. Me, I just roll on.
I learned in the not-so-nicest of ways many years ago that there is always, always going to be someone out there who is better than you. Someone to better fill that job position. A better runner to play on your team. A ‘better’ girl out there to warm your bed at night.
I am very accustomed to not being better.
At the very least, I can apply myself to getting better at the things I love.
These are all the skeins of yarn I’ve spun over the past two weeks, going from the lumpy chocolate brown on the far right, the middle brown and blonde I plied together because of so much brown left over, to the far left, a blonde alpaca neck and mystery wool blend.
I’ve gotten so much better on my little drop spindle!
This has been my sanity. This shows me how in such a little amount of time, how much better I’ve gotten. I can live with that.
My dad asked me tonight why I knit so much. I told him: “I knit because I can’t do much else artistically. I have no real musical talent, I can’t put paint on canvas or pretty words on paper. But give me a few yards of yarn and two pointy sticks, I can make whatever I want, and change it whenever I want”.