Deep Cleansing Breaths

I am a person who runs on stress, both positive stress and negative. My job is a very high-stress job. This weekend, was a doozy.

Yes, the weekend I ended my introductory Probation was a doozy, but this one takes the cake. Wednesday’s are the end of my work week for me, and I am REALLY looking forward to having the next two days off.

I haven’t knit in almost a week. You heard that right. One. Week. Plus I have an order of those Lacey boot Warmers to finish. I have been letting the stress and agitation take me away from what I love doing most, and that’s not me.

You ever have someone pissed off at you but you tell them that it’s their own fault for being mad? I’ve got that going on right now. Boy trouble, lack of sleep, it’s all there.

So, Tuesday nights I drive across town to one of the Paneras in town and take their donation of leftover goodies an bring it back to shelter. So I’m driving back and I’m rather agitated over this whole week thus far and this happens

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I know there’s a wreck in the next intersection, so I get ready to turn left to go around it, and the bloody fire truck cuts off my lane!! I had a sock to knit in the seat next to me, but I just couldn’t do it. I turned my car off, and did some yoga Ums.

It was the first time all weekend I had felt at ease. I’ve realized that the stress is wearing me down because I’m trying to make everyone else happy at the expense of my own sanity. As the vibration courses thru me I realized that I really need to let go. I can only do the best that I can. And I need to just mentally tell people to go fuck themselves and not worry about defending myself.

Rach

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